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Posts Tagged ‘windows’

All room’s full tonight

for restless thoughts,

will you make another?

Something resides too long

without paying any rent

unwilling to go. I try

 

to push the windows

shut from the memory

of the altar. Forgiveness

is the name knocking

at my door, I would not

let it in, at a price.

 

You know, it’s hard

to clean up the mess

of those nightly visitors.

Thinking about comfort

and the high maintenance

of keeping life in order.

 

Welcome.

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I’m No Frank

Frank Lloyd Wright

and his falling water. Masses

of concrete cantilevered,

and extending outwards

like hands reaching- symbiosis.

But I’m no Frank

and dreams might be

my little fingers clasping

hard and pushing pencils

for somebody else’s utopia.

 

The hewn boulders of rock

resisting the foundation

on which this grand design sits,

I bear the weight of expectations.

Balancing upon the scales

on which the measure of cement

is mixed in sand and water.

The lapping over of slates into a bond.

The forward thrust of hammer to nails.

The tightening of ties around stirrups.

The alternate laying of the roof decking.

 

And the network of drain pipes,

cables and ducting, and waterlines

resembling the veins and sinews

of the building’s skeleton. I build

a symbol- the framework of the mind.

The genius envisions an edifice

in his intellectual acrobatics,

justifying to the world the modern-

reality that build themselves on paper.

 

Summoning the masons to lay

its plaster to newly cured blocks.

The painter to swab the walls

in fresh coats. The decorator

sets the chairs, the beds,

the mirrors and the tables.

The vases and layers of curtains.

The lifeless sculpture pieces

and paintings hanged to the walls.

Fixing rolls of wallpaper  and carpets

over polished granite floors.

 

The carpenter assembling

cabinet boxes, ledges and shelves.

The windows fitted to the sills.

And the doors hanged on frames.

The location of the chandelier.

Installing wooden slabs on stairs.

The green patinated balustrades.

The landscaper to plant shrubs, and ferns

and vines and trees and patch of grass.

The water fountains and the waterfall

arranged mimicking a natural set-up.

 

But I ‘m no Frank.

The hours stretched for miles and miles.

The drafting table becoming wet with fog

until  the first  hours of the morning.

I can hear the mad conversations

of the vellum and the graphite saying,

“deadline nears, it’s almost here”.

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In the old quarter of the city,

in the nakedness of the cold walls

of this back street. I sit alone, outside.

Here. In the almost empty corner of the café.

Looking beyond many mornings

distant, from the crowd.

 

There is something.

In the stale morning air that reminds me

of one strange midnight.

 

A quiet conversation of two souls

connecting among the silver teaspoons,

teacups and porcelain.

 

Exchanged glimpses of a period

when things are new, young and free.

Reliving a story of the jaded past

within a single stretch of hours

waiting for the sunrise.

 

There is something-

which I failed to grasp

and took hold of.

 

Something in the dust-filled glass windows.

The peeled off paint from the ceiling.

The wallpaper shedding its ancient skin.

The tattered leather and cushions

of these vintage chairs.

 

There is a memory of a voice fading

like the sheen from this worn-out table.

Among the bread crumbs for the pigeons to share.

And this bronzed cup leaving off a tinge-

a certain warmth I could not forget.

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There will be a single spark of light.

But not from the stars. Because even them,

they have shied away and have forgotten.

Here, only from my birthday candle

casting shadows waltzing the wall

and the chilly wind whistling a tune,

sending wisps of wishes, for tonight.

While the rest of the world snoozes

in its deafening silence. Getting used

with the normalcy of tragedies.

And in their lukewarm sympathies.

In the quiet corner of the city, littered

and battered of the rain-drenched

images of chaos and shattered hopes,

on the table a bowl of rice

and a can of sardine. In a color

charcoaled space,  I breath as a man

determined to celebrate my existence

among the ruins with this twist of fate.

I shifted my gaze from the table

to the broken windows and watch

the passing of the storm clouds

in the evening sky. I am happy

but no sound of laughter. Hearing

the incessant drop of water

from a leaking roof.  Contented

among the shadows. Decided

to bury the hatchet of what is past.

Gathering what’s left after the storm.

As I dream of patching the tattered

and pock-marked walls, then hide

the traces of mud  in fresh white paint.

Believing nature has a way to let people

start anew. De-cluttering my life of things

that entangle men of never-ending want.

Until now,  when I had less.

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The words infiltrate a mind’s sovereign

colonizing a niche of space within

Rock-hewn among these parched walls,

petrifying civilization, quelling revolution.

 

The maze of letters clustered like jungle

to simmering cauldron of thoughts.

The texts became glowing embers

of world wars waged in the past.

 

When sentences begins imaginary-

little flames gather into firestorm.

Of bourgeoisie killing ideology-

etching history in its annals of freedom.

 

Crusade to equality  is an open door.

A people force through closed windows.

Clenched fist of a Che Guevarra,

struggle between power and martyrdom.

 

The conqueror’s territory eventually falls,

while peasants set loose from their cages.

Voicing sentiments, marching on parliament-

unafraid of gunfire and waterbombs.

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Today is January 1 of 2009,  I woke up early,  surprised why there are no lights from my windows.  Normally, I see car headlights in the street and lighted windows from the buildings each morning.  Looking at the clock, time seems to have overstepped its normal pace.

I came out of the front door and there the street is heavy with fog.  Ah,  that’s why.  I head out for the carlift waiting for me to take me to work. I sensed the driver is freezing. I greeted him and started to talk about how mesmerizing the fog was. 

What a way to celebrate the new year! One foggy morning with almost zero visibility on the road. And a day of work.  This has been the first time for me to spend new year working and without a Christmas break.

The fog has secretly dampen this special day.  I pulled out the digital camera and started flicking road photographs. But the images are eerily cold compared to what this day actually means and it consistently reminded me that in this part of the globe, western new year is faintly felt.  I just leave it like that.  Like a normal day. Same as others.

My thoughts of new years passed keep me company.  I remember the images of fireworks that glitters in the sky while people are revelling and shouting Happy New Year.  I remember Media Noche I used to share with family and the karaoke sessions. And the many things that make you crave to be there back home.

This one day is a hard one. I am faced with the reality that I am welcoming it here alone. Hoping that sometime, next year I would be there celebrating the holidays with my family and friends, together.  But for now, I should carry on like others braving it through the years. No matter what.

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There is this solitary confinement.

Beneath a surface, rages a storm.

Underneath, steely rocks

Will pierce your soft heel.

Be careful walking

My land-mined territory.

 

My eyes were fiery

Like a cascading lava,

Gentle as it flows but

Death will come,

along its path. As if words

can singed you until

the last traces of life turned

into ash.

 

These glass windows

Will shutter with

My restrained voices

Until it falls like shrapnels

To wound your fragile heart.

 

My hands are tied

But not enchained

And these thoughts

Can slash through your brain

It will linger like ghosts

Shrieking until you bleed.

 

If silence can kill,

Then I will kill.

If coldness of the water

Petrifies  a time

Let it stop the clock from ticking.

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