Posted in Current Affairs, Essay, Memoirs, Prose, Religion, Social Commentary, tagged admonishing, afternoon, agony, anger, arms, being, bird, bomb, broken, bushes, cat, chameleon, charm, child, chirp, claws, cloak, composure, cool, creature, dam, danger, darkness, day, despair, dwelling, earth, emotion, enemy, face, faith, father, fear, flight, flood, fragile, friend, God, grief, ground, hand, home, humanity, ice, knife, lesson, life, lost, markings, masquerade, mind, moment, Nature, nest, nowhere, overwhelmed, pain, person, place, powerlessness, prodigal son, Prose, questions, quick thinking, reason, rebel, restaurant, road, scuffle., side, sight, soul, stay, tear, thoughts, time, tragic, trust, ventricles, vivid, way, weight, wisdom, word, world, years on April 25, 2009|
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I was on my way to a restaurant that late afternoon to meet a friend, hurrying and my mind was filled with gloomy thoughts. My mind just wandered aimlessly, battling inner fears.
Rebel as I was, it seems that I am all wearied and fighting against the world, crushed in the agony of my self-defeat- I succumbed into powerlessness. I have met a familiar darkness of my soul once again. In such a long time.
I am depressed that day. Defeated by reason. I am filled with anger emblazoned across my face. That day- I am not the usual masquerading, self-hiding chameleon in the cloak of coolness and charm. I am likened to a ticking bomb.
I have questions. And lots of them. As endless as the broken road markings. My combatant nature would never accept any kind word- even from the most endearing. That was one time I had feared myself the most- who is capable of hurting myself. Like a jagged knife ready to cut the ventricles of humanity in me.
Somewhere, in a sudden mysterious way, I heard a helpless chirp. I stopped and started searching the source by my side. And I have found a little bird, that has fallen from a bird’s nest from the nearby palm tree and landed on the ground. It is too early for the little bird to take flight. My hardened composure melts gradually into a compassionate being. How on earth, this hapless sight would pour a cold, cold ice to my raging soul?
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a stray cat emerged. Prowling as if it is finding something to devour. In my quick thinking, I immediately snatched the little bird from the ground, rescuing it from danger. From harm and from the claws of the enemy- so vicious and lethal.
Just when I thought, that what I did, is the right one, I felt a sudden pain. A stinging one. The little bird had bitten me. Surprised as I was, I accidentally dropped the bird away farther into the ground. Then the next thing I heard is a scuffle in the bushes until the hopeless chirping stopped.
I am overwhelmed. I just stand there and was filled with a sudden grief. I can’t believe that life has been snatched away from my very hands. The life of a fragile creature. A tragic lost. Tears quietly streamed down my face until it became flood as pent-up emotions surged and overpowered my anger like a dam breached loose.
That moment, I wonder, how vivid this circumstance made my soul saved from drowning and wallowing in despair? My life, I learned, can be like the hopeless little bird, compared to a child out of God’s hand. How powerful can God teach me a great lesson, a stiff-necked person as I am, who never learned from His admonishing? The questions that I have over-analyzed for years has crumbled under the weight of God’s wisdom which is mightier than what I can comprehend.
Like a prodigal son who came back to his father’s arm, I did the same coming home to what God has purposed me to belong. With the lesson of that hopeless little bird, I just knew that my life on earth rest only on His hands. All I needed to do is to have an unwavering faith and complete trust on Him. And God has impressed to me to stay in His dwelling place as long as I live.
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Solitude Amidst the Maddening Crowd
Death Of A Little Bird
Posted in Current Affairs, Essay, Memoirs, Prose, Religion, Social Commentary, tagged admonishing, afternoon, agony, anger, arms, being, bird, bomb, broken, bushes, cat, chameleon, charm, child, chirp, claws, cloak, composure, cool, creature, dam, danger, darkness, day, despair, dwelling, earth, emotion, enemy, face, faith, father, fear, flight, flood, fragile, friend, God, grief, ground, hand, home, humanity, ice, knife, lesson, life, lost, markings, masquerade, mind, moment, Nature, nest, nowhere, overwhelmed, pain, person, place, powerlessness, prodigal son, Prose, questions, quick thinking, reason, rebel, restaurant, road, scuffle., side, sight, soul, stay, tear, thoughts, time, tragic, trust, ventricles, vivid, way, weight, wisdom, word, world, years on April 25, 2009| 2 Comments »
I was on my way to a restaurant that late afternoon to meet a friend, hurrying and my mind was filled with gloomy thoughts. My mind just wandered aimlessly, battling inner fears.
Rebel as I was, it seems that I am all wearied and fighting against the world, crushed in the agony of my self-defeat- I succumbed into powerlessness. I have met a familiar darkness of my soul once again. In such a long time.
I am depressed that day. Defeated by reason. I am filled with anger emblazoned across my face. That day- I am not the usual masquerading, self-hiding chameleon in the cloak of coolness and charm. I am likened to a ticking bomb.
I have questions. And lots of them. As endless as the broken road markings. My combatant nature would never accept any kind word- even from the most endearing. That was one time I had feared myself the most- who is capable of hurting myself. Like a jagged knife ready to cut the ventricles of humanity in me.
Somewhere, in a sudden mysterious way, I heard a helpless chirp. I stopped and started searching the source by my side. And I have found a little bird, that has fallen from a bird’s nest from the nearby palm tree and landed on the ground. It is too early for the little bird to take flight. My hardened composure melts gradually into a compassionate being. How on earth, this hapless sight would pour a cold, cold ice to my raging soul?
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a stray cat emerged. Prowling as if it is finding something to devour. In my quick thinking, I immediately snatched the little bird from the ground, rescuing it from danger. From harm and from the claws of the enemy- so vicious and lethal.
Just when I thought, that what I did, is the right one, I felt a sudden pain. A stinging one. The little bird had bitten me. Surprised as I was, I accidentally dropped the bird away farther into the ground. Then the next thing I heard is a scuffle in the bushes until the hopeless chirping stopped.
I am overwhelmed. I just stand there and was filled with a sudden grief. I can’t believe that life has been snatched away from my very hands. The life of a fragile creature. A tragic lost. Tears quietly streamed down my face until it became flood as pent-up emotions surged and overpowered my anger like a dam breached loose.
That moment, I wonder, how vivid this circumstance made my soul saved from drowning and wallowing in despair? My life, I learned, can be like the hopeless little bird, compared to a child out of God’s hand. How powerful can God teach me a great lesson, a stiff-necked person as I am, who never learned from His admonishing? The questions that I have over-analyzed for years has crumbled under the weight of God’s wisdom which is mightier than what I can comprehend.
Like a prodigal son who came back to his father’s arm, I did the same coming home to what God has purposed me to belong. With the lesson of that hopeless little bird, I just knew that my life on earth rest only on His hands. All I needed to do is to have an unwavering faith and complete trust on Him. And God has impressed to me to stay in His dwelling place as long as I live.
Read Full Post »