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Posts Tagged ‘photograph’

I hate my photograph,

it is not me-who stare

at you behind the mirror.

That false reflection

with curved lips,

chinkee-eyed to greet

a hello. To whom?

 

I don’t want witnesses

to frame me in that split-second

prison cell of disguise.

I buckle down, and sweating

my bones, electrocuted,

dead nervous of strangers’

gaze into my inner being.

 

I hate questions.

I hate it when you whitewash

a harsh reality with a soft answer.

It’s a scalpel dissecting

an organ, trying to find

hidden tumor that metastasized

blood flowing a river

and then you drowned

along with drowning the negative

until it sinked in.

 

Please,  tell the doctor.

He is not welcome here.

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The chandelier sways a little

when the ceiling sheds its skin

to show its old bones. Paint on walls

reveal its freckles and birthmarks,

wrinkled through the shifting cycle

of Gregorian calendars. You worry

about the constant reminders

from the electric company,

those unpaid bills overcrowding

this three-legged desk. And the

water leaks from the rusty tap.

 

The old photographs dog eared

collecting fungus of memories

dampening happy days like rain.

And the red wine loses its color.

And the window curtains block off

the light, dusty and unwashed.

Breakfast unprepared, it’s another

long hours without eating but verses

of poems you chew in your mind.

 

Here is the knife and slice something

open, now. It might reveal a thing 

that you don’t understand.

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She took out a folded piece of paper

from her pocket. A handwritten note

she would read again. Then say,

“He loved me and I still believe”.

“He is from Oregon, an American”.

 

She hid this keepsake along with

a photograph.  Of a white man smiling,

in uniform, besides a military truck.

Her fingers would trace the line

of the man’s face, remembering.

 

When she first served him a drink,

seeing him there ever since. Then,

to her the bar transforms to a place

where promises of crossing oceans

were not so distant like a dream.

 

But they left. Leaving behind sadness

that will fill her days as she waited-

for her man to return and take her away.

To a place where the color of her skin

will not matter but a heart that she fully gave.

 

Year after year, she stayed while clearing tables

and washing dishes. Cleaning them spotless

and white again, counting them like days

she will have to wait. Leaving this place

crossing oceans to dream with her man.

 

Still, no news of him. Maybe, tomorrow.

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Beyond the years and graying hairs

I am keeping in a book of dreams.

 

Like dried leaves and dried petals

flooding my way  to the mailbox,

togetherness is just one simple note

of words handwritten in a page.

 

And in my dreams I am trading places

of happy photographs and postcards.

Those promises that fill my head

I am dreaming still. Wondering

 

what’s like to be on the other side

traversing like pigeons. Drifting on

edifices, and parks, and monuments,

wide-eyed in surprise, collecting moments.

 

This morning, I waited for the postman

dropping another note to my mailbox.

And I’ll begin to step back in time

miles and miles away from yesterday.

 

Wishing and hoping memories can be

such like these,  just keeping souvenirs. 

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The earth became

a lacerated vision

of shallow heaven,

after the rain. T’was

a parting time,

a moment lost

when the big sky

agonizes over

the summer sun.

 

And how the  bamboo trees

sadly waving goodbye.

And the monsoon winds

blew gently,

creating ripples,

mirrored patches

and misty glimpses.

A sea of blue.

 

It was all-

in the photograph

capturing puddles

reflecting clouds

travelling by.

It was all-

that I keep

as a remembrance,

of a big sky

hoping for the sun.

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I never had a dream

in black and white.

Like the moon’s

dichotomy of faces

and the ocean’s

abysmal depth.

Mine is a crisp

flapping of maple-

leaves turning fire

in the autumn sunlight.

Or a bottle-nosed dolphin

gliding in cetacean grace.

Light refracting on water

of blue and purple magic.

 

I never had a dream

in black and white.

A monotonous photograph,

of flexed sinewed arms,

simulating sand dunes

meandering in ochre charm.

Mine is a far-away galaxy

in its celestial wonder.

Wispfully bursting show

of orange, yellow and magenta.

Or a mirrorball gyrating

flickers of crystalline.

Metamorphosing reflections

of gold and silver sheen.

 

If I ever had a dream

in black and white.

I will suppress them within.

Until  this dark room becomes

one mystical secret garden.

Invisible yet seen.

Letting my pillows

constrain the brain

like an amoeba

entrenched into blood

clotting, pools of red.

And maneuver thoughts

into a kaleidoscopic

shades of the rainbow.

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You chose not

to keep memories.

Not to keep promises.

 

But I chose-

to keep,

each single imagery,

each single scene

into a film.

 

Tell me  a word.

And whisper niceties.

 

I consummate,

each single  line,

each single thought.

You must know.

 

I had kept you.

 

Here

some faded photographs-

of us.

 

In the quiet corner

of my mind.

 

We dream.

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