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Posts Tagged ‘ladder’

"When in our lifetime it seems difficult, always say never give up."

I had the chance to visit a friend for their house blessing whose new house I have designed by hand sketches last May.  I am so happy and proud seeing her satisfied and fulfilled by the outcome as she told me that God has answered her prayers for this one.  And here comes the contradiction.  I may see my client’s satisfaction towards realization of their dreams but I am left in awe how my own dreams vanished on the surface.   

I, having no real properties to boast of, no house to improve on, no personal wealth or huge bank accounts to keep, left here sharing other people’s vision for the future.  What I have of me, are responsibilities to help my family knee-deep in debts, maintaining expenses for food and monthly bills such as rent, telephone and the utilities.  With a newly-wed brother who is jobless and having a new baby to feed; and the three kids my sister left for Dubai whose irresponsible husband had another wife.  And my going gets tougher day by day.

Life is a bitter sweet song. And each of us has its own equal share of unhappy events. I never blame these circumstances to other people. But I must have felt that I am predestined to take upon me this role as  a fulcrum for balance.   I am but just a man who have my own set of  dreams to push.  A set of aspirations that I keep tucked in my mind along this life’s rugged path.  And I don’t know where I could see my Howard’s End so sooner than  I can think of.

I have never felt so disappointed as before whenever I read stories on dailies wherein a medical graduate-topnotcher who chose to be a nurse to look for a greener pasture abroad, only to be duped by a recruiter promising them a better life and opportunities for career growth. The malady gets even stronger as I observe our government and intellectual people, powerless and inutile, to take necessary action to elevate our present country’s situation out of the growing bondages of poverty, unemployment and  self-serving opprtunities for only the  few and the privileged. 

I have sensed that its either we accept it or not, it is a senseless struggle.  And it doesn’t make sense dying in the streets protesting where our government cannot be summoned to answer its own wrongdoing.  It doesn’t make sense at all, pinning our hopes that our condition will ever be lifted up.  It is a plain moral and social decay we are now experiencing here.  Where the educated are self- destructing its own belief system and abandoning its long held sense of nationalism and sacrifice for the country. And I am one of them.

And if promises of better life can only be translated into muted words of anguish and hopelessness, I would never stop uttering it to the high heavens.  As our education had led us into a trap of make believe. And it is like a burning ladder into oblivion of only surviving in this self proclaimed game of chance and luck among millions, hoping to land a single decent paying job.

Maybe I cease to hope. That things can be altered in one’s lifetime. I have been one of the many faceless and nameless strangers who had given up. On this country.  On this circumstances.  Who will depart and never will come back. Maybe I can blame it on the weatherman, where sunshine never stops here.  Only rain.

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