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Posts Tagged ‘holiday’

I will have to catch the train

and leave you. For I am

a wanderer in search

of a destiny. Only here

squeezing in time,

making  a sidetrip

for memory’s sake.

Holiday is sweet

in these short hours.

 

Recollecting the good

old-natured yesterday

becoming vague now.

And in your eyes

there are outlines

of the life you wish

you had with me.

How could it be

so beautiful? Still

I cannot stay, if only

I exist in a fairytale.

 

There is a real world

outside your nutshell.

Breaking away beyond

here- that I must go.

I need to exist

day after day

among other strangers

flocking the city streets.

How can you keep

a dream from going on?

I am not so sure, while

 

I catch train after train

hoping not to return.

Ignoring the illusions

fulfilling your fantasy.

I found you, still,

a girl and a child.

With the same old

story to tell. And you

do not see that I have

become so different.

So far away, a distance

far too wide to belong.

 

Love is not possible

between you and me.

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Today is January 1 of 2009,  I woke up early,  surprised why there are no lights from my windows.  Normally, I see car headlights in the street and lighted windows from the buildings each morning.  Looking at the clock, time seems to have overstepped its normal pace.

I came out of the front door and there the street is heavy with fog.  Ah,  that’s why.  I head out for the carlift waiting for me to take me to work. I sensed the driver is freezing. I greeted him and started to talk about how mesmerizing the fog was. 

What a way to celebrate the new year! One foggy morning with almost zero visibility on the road. And a day of work.  This has been the first time for me to spend new year working and without a Christmas break.

The fog has secretly dampen this special day.  I pulled out the digital camera and started flicking road photographs. But the images are eerily cold compared to what this day actually means and it consistently reminded me that in this part of the globe, western new year is faintly felt.  I just leave it like that.  Like a normal day. Same as others.

My thoughts of new years passed keep me company.  I remember the images of fireworks that glitters in the sky while people are revelling and shouting Happy New Year.  I remember Media Noche I used to share with family and the karaoke sessions. And the many things that make you crave to be there back home.

This one day is a hard one. I am faced with the reality that I am welcoming it here alone. Hoping that sometime, next year I would be there celebrating the holidays with my family and friends, together.  But for now, I should carry on like others braving it through the years. No matter what.

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