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Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category

Search me, oh my spirit

at the riptide on my blue veins.

I am at the end of the line

in the deep ocean I lay.

I let the undercurrent shake

my foundations of faith

moored and hidden

a wreckage-

 

beneath the sea weeds

and coral cloisters

beached with visions.

Murkier as mud clouds,

adrift in liquid abyss

disturbed my soul. I

 

an abandoned cast-away.

The once mighty crusader

sailed the troubled waters

has now dropped the anchors.

 

Weighed down, crashed,

beaten and ravaged.

I had forgotten the buoy

afloat in its hope. Angel

caught in the maelstrom

shroud in its mystery

just like a prayer.

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Silence have snatched a life away

from my trembling hands,

out in the shadows

I only had screams

in my mind without a sound.

 

While in my room, there were movies.

Hours stretched with unfinished reels

of laughter devoid of warmth now,

embraces stale and cold I imagine

some sad movies of should’ve been.

 

I hear a voice of someone singing

loneliness that I don’t understand

like fire alarm bells ringing, piercing

into my soul, bleeding without blood.

 

Tell me the pain of being skinned alive,

impaled, staked and burned with fire

of the gaping void in my universe

retreating into its black hole.

 

Wake me up from this chasm.

Rescue me from this denial.

Rise me up from the pit.

From the quagmire of anger

rising and falling its tempest

like ocean waves I float

and drown in seasickness.

 

I’m not finished with you yet.

You’ve left me exactly where I am

unguarded, in shock and reasons

were not the answers to my questions,

why?

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He keeps me shrouded in shredded pieces

sprawled and reclusive and momentarily

locked up vanishing in mediocrity.

 

Like someone who is afraid of the sanity

and Charles Dicken’s tale of two cities

and I never get to understand Virginia

Woolf, why her heart cries like a wolf

in the night longing for words as

earnest as Oscar Wilde. Dorian must be

some kind of lover of self and boisterous

as Ernest Hemingway. Not in the league

 

of imagination pours in my cup of tea.

Blood of ink flooding in my desk.

Days and days of wandering and wondering

where the words hide in the curtains.

That great expectation.

 

Lucky is Jane Austen for she can choose

not to be shrouded and shredded but

privileged unlike some Emily Bronte’s

Heathcliffe who tries to redeem romance.

Some hearts that pound in the will of the horse

and to kill a mockingbird of Harper Lee.

I hope to catch the rye like JD Salinger.

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A brisk walk is the goal.

Skid some marks,

dash the line

but I’ll never say

a dream goodbye.

 

It may be pointless.

It may be endless.

And the minutes

stretch too long to count.

But I hold on

until it burns

 

a path uniquely

my own.

 

To the finish line.

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It’s not the imitation of a scene

of a snapshot perhaps.

A memory perhaps

 

beneath it.

 

I see words

swirling past shadows

of a hand restrained to speak them

but paint the sky

with reds, blues and yellows

in circles and dots

of dreams I am afraid

to wake from.

 

Sunny days

in my weekend beach walks.

Windswept cold and bleak winter desert.

And the frozen grey and snow

collecting at my window pane.

 

Still

 

on paper water diluted tones,

shades and hues wandering

the landscape of my memory.

It may be the translucence

or opacity of colors. The absence

of whiteness and blackness

that leaves neutrality

 

of the wide space. I dwell,

linger and fade into horizon.

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What will it take you to remember?

The light and shade of beauty

in minutes and seconds within hours

in a day or a year. A lifetime

 

about colours mixed in a palette

about anecdote in a story

about a scene in a play

about a line in a poem

or a montage in a song

 

I carry within me

waiting to be expressed

in time. Little by little

a masterpiece.

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A heart

belonging to someone who-

in another place

and another time

traveled the open ocean.

The distance of years

were only yesterday.

 

There’s a message in a bottle

washed up ashore.

 

Like the wave

knot by knot reaching out

for the love he lost

 

by the sea.

 

Sailing past the stormy waters,

buoyed by hope afloat.

For one day, their souls

might have a second life.

Reunited and alive.

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