dot. Simple
isolate. pen
ink blot.
Open
parenthesis.
Breath
in bubble.
Line separate.
Island.
Close up
Dot. Drop
in an ocean
stop.
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Hames
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I enjoy the simplicity of this. It makes a deep impact. Good job!
pablo,
thanks for your appreciation. your blogpage rocks! your art is thought-provoking.
best of times,
marvin
Few words,
Short and sweet 🙂
Peace to you,
Laz
laz,
this is a minimalistic poem. i just stop blabbering too much, hahaha
cheers
Wonderful poem Hames! Thanks for letting me discover your poetry by commenting on mine. I will be back when I have more time to carefully read and appreciate your work.
hi eelco,
thank you for the compliment. this poem i have written since last year. i wanted to do a long poem, but i stop somewhere in the middle. then today, is the perfect moment to post it. it is gloomy out here in the desert, and the alienating feeling of the sandstorm makes it intense. this poem perfectly describe what i feel at this moment.
on your blogsite, i appreciate so much what you are writing there. it is culturally rich and filled with beautiful explorations on art and history. i feel that i am also your student, reading the many articles you are posting. i am excited to come back again to your page, to read your works.
best of times,
marvin
Hi Marvin,
I had vivid images in my mind when reading your poem, but different images than the ones you describe here. Knowing the circumstances gives it more depth and makes it even better.
Thank you very much for your nice comments on my blog. Sometimes you wonder why you are taking the trouble of sitting down and try to translate your thoughts into a blog post. Comments like yours are just that little push that makes it happen 🙂
ahhh. i said this poem is reminscent of ‘ako ang daigdig’ by alejandro g. abadilla.
your poetry is getting better.
hi john,
thanks for the repost of your comment i deleted accidentally. again, my apologies. i remember AGA, in the public high school textbook on Panitikan/ Filipino class. we had this “sabayang pagbigkas” and we recited this “ako ang daigdig”. his poetry had this raw power and evokes passion. AGA is a modern poet, worthy to be read.
thanks for assessing my poetry. i appreciate it.
best of times,
marvin
I like the elegant simplicity of these images. Thank you.
hi white,
many thanks, i did like your comment. i find your art stimulating.
cheers
Nice.
I will see your other poems later.
I think I should learn from your style.
hiro,
you write equally well, too. japanese are masters of minimalism in poetry such as in haiku, senryu and haiga.
keep reading,
marvin
I really like the economy of this poem Marvin – I bet you would be great at this flash fiction
http://bookstains.wordpress.com/2010/04/26/poem-flash-poetry-death-of-a-toy/
Each of your words paint a picture, become a cypher -its like a whole new language. Every isolated word communcates;- ‘breath’ bubble, close up, ocean’… very good and very clever 🙂
lynda,
this poem, i must say, is quite different to the usual dark, moody long poems i am writing. there was a time that i felt that i am overblowing it, so, as a refresher, i cut short the lines, and in cruelty, i strip them bare of embellishment.
voila! you had this minimalistic poetry. i appreciate the gesture of giving me the link about the flash fiction: the death of the toy. i enjoy exploring your blogpages. i will come back for more reading.
thanking you,
marvin
I like this, Hames. I guess it is the reference to mark-making. I like making marks. 🙂 Thank-you for letting me know about your blog.
Change Hames to Marvin. Sorry about that!
hi leslie,
wonderful thanks for your visit. im happy about this comment you made. it never occured to me, that this poem can be made referenced to mark-making.
that is a fascinating discovery. and you have seen a different side of this poem in a complete new way. awesome!
oh about the name, it’s perfectly okay. hames is my pseudonym. marvin is my real name.
cheers
dear eelco,
yes, i had the same feeling, too, when i am trying to find inspiration for another poem i could post on this blog. somehow, the comments are pushing the boundaries of what we are capable of writing down, either ideas or thoughts.
seeking diligently among other things, a different twist and take on everyday bits and pieces in each other’s lives. it makes us sharper, noticing the unnoticed and considering things which can be easily taken for granted.
i thank you personally, for the comments. your comments succinctly single out words, putting them on a spotlight. making their relevance known far more than the five senses can provide.
humbly,
marvin
i am following your advice. reading your old works now…hehehe.
an enriching reading experience indeed.
dear john,
i think i need to apologise for advising you that way. it’s uncalled for. anyway, just think of it as an elder brother’s advice. don’t worry, you are still young. better things will come your way, someday.
cheers